I'm on the next plane out there - my reply to Justin

Having thought about Justin's situation very carefully, I decided to consult my friends Mr Duckworth and Mrs Mitchell for leagl advice. They are now packing their bags to accompany me on a trip to see Justin and make sure the people who are trying to extort money from him are brough to justice! Let's see how he reacts to this one!! I did a bit of reseach to find out who was in charge over there and Mrs Mitchell  (who works for the US Embassy) has contacted him to demand Justins release immediately!! 




My darling, sweet Justin.


I am beside myself with worry about your current situation. I cannot bear to think of you being abused by these terrible men. You say you are on your knees, whatever you do, keep your mouth shut or you don't know what they may shove in there whilst you are in that position!


As you know, I myself am a reputable business woman, having made my millions through my business Merkins and Gherkins. I have many contacts in business and such so have done a little research on your behalf. I have spoken to my business lawyer Mr Jack Duckworth, who reliably informs me that the documents that these people are asking you for are indeed not correct. I hate to be the one to tell you this  Justin but these people are trying to con you out of money. Have you already given them some of your money? I dearly hope that you have not as I fear that this money will be lost forever.


As well as speaking to my lawyer (Mr Jack Duckworth) I have spoken to a contact of mine who works at the American Embassy in London. Mrs Peggy Mitchell (YMCA) is an emminent human rights lawyer who work on behalf of American citizens who have difficulties whilst in the UK or abroad. As you are a US citizen she agreed to help.  She confirmed what Mr Duckworth had previously told me, that these people are indeed trying to extort money from you. On your behlaf, Mrs Mitchell has spoken directly to the District Governor of Abidjan,  Mr Pierre Djedji Amondji  who was outraged to hear what has happened to you. He assures Mrs Mitchell that he will demand your immediate release from captivity immedicately.


I have been so badly traumatised by what has happened to you, my one and only love, that I have decided to get the next plane over to see you. I am booked on the 8:35am flight from Manchester Airport tomorrow which is due to land at Abidjan, Felix Houphouet Boigny Airport, Cote d'Ivoire, at 2:55pm on Thursday 3rd November. I am also bringing with me Mr Duckworth and Mrs Mitchell so we can all ensure that you are safe and well and that the people responsible for this terrible crime are brought to justice. The District Governor has assured us that you will be released by then so we will be free to start our lives together Justin.

Oh Justin, you have no idea what all this has done to me. I have been a nervous wreck. I almost went out and scored some crack just to steady my nerves but I thought better of it. I feel so much better knowing that in just a matter of a couple of days we will be in each others arms, loving and caring for each other like two decent, honest people. Oh Justin, I love you so much. We will get through this together for I am yours and you are mine.

Oh, I have to say that I am a tad disappointed with  your love poems. I googled a few of the words and you have quite clearly just copied them off the interent. This actually made me feel quite cross and I went outside and slapped a passing pensioner. Here's me, sending you hand written words of love and devotion and all you do is copy yours from a website. Shame on you. I am prepared to spend vast amounts of time and money to come and rescue you and you can't even send me a genuine poem written by yourself. It's a good job I love you Justin or things could be very different.

Anyway my sweet love, my angel, my hearts desire, I must go now. But don't fear, for I shall be with you, by your side in just a couple of days. Please don't forget to let me know when Mr Pierre Djedji Amondji  has secured your release from police custody.


Waiting to hear from you soon.




All my devoted love forever


From your Samantha xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


PS, Remember, back to the wall and mouth shut at all times xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS Do you know many divers? A reply to Justin

I replied to Justin today after his three emial from yesterday. I do hope he likes Demis Roussos!!! 

Dearest Justin.

Phew!! Am I relieved to hear from you at last. Those six days with no contact were the hardest of my life. They were even harder than the time when I was accidentally locked in a local bus depot garage for the weekend. I fell asleep one friday evening on the upstairs back seat of a double decker number 46 bus after having one too many Malibu and pineapples at a friends 'Happy Divorce' party. I only closed my eyes for what seemed like 5 minutes but when I woke it was 2:15 pm on the Saturday afternoon. The battery had died on my mobile phone and the doors to the bus depot were locked from the outside. Luckily for me I found a half eaten McDonalds happy meal (minus the Lion King wind up growling Simba toy), 2 half drunk cans of Red Bull and the remains of a Greggs cheesy beans and sausage pastie. I carefully rationed my finds to make sure I had enough to last me until the garage reopened on Monday morning. I managed to open the doors of the bus by using the emergency 'push to open' button and thankfully found a toilet!  I relieved myself and turned my underwear inside out (as no woman ever wants to wear the same pair two days running) and had a wander round the depot. Thankfully the depot had skylights so I wasn't imprisoned in total darkness and I managed to have a good old look round. The lost property room was unlocked so I passed some time having a game of 'dressing up like famous characters from history'. Oh how I laughed as a caught sight of myself in a mirror dressed as Mussolini!! I'm sure you'd have laughed too if you'd seen me! I also managed to fashion costumes for Demis Roussos, Kenny Everett and the woman with the wrinkled stockings from Last of the Summer Wine ( I forget her name but I think she did the Shackletons High Seat Chair adverts too if that rings any bells). It's truely amazing the things that people leave on public transport! Anyway, to cut a long story short, the depot manager arrived at 5:30am on Monday morning to be greeted by me in full Dedmis outfit, giving my very best rendition of 'Forever and ever'. How we laughed!!! He was so impressed that he let me keep the Kaftan by way of apology for my accidental imprisonment. I often wear that kaftan and have a good old giggle! Do you like Kaftans Justin? I know a friend who has just bought a job lot off Ebay if you're interested.

I was so sorry to hear how you lost control after exercising. You really must take it easy and not do such damage to your body Justin. Your body is a temple and must be treated as such. Promise me you will take it easy from now on? I can't bear to think of you injuring yourself in such a way.

I was touched that you shared your fathers dying words with me. They brought me to tears. I agree that out divers destinies are of utmost importance and we must strive to make good the words of your father and honour his wisdom. My the Goddess Mozalina look over and cherish him in heaven.

I am glad you do not care for social status or standing, but true love. Justin, believe me whan I say this, I love you deeply and from the very bottom of my heart. Never has anyone made me feel this way. My every waking moment is taken with thoughts of you and my dreams are filled with fantasies of us together. When I say fantasies, I don't mean any of that pervy, kinky kind of stuff. Oh no!! Since those heady, depraved days with the likes of Mr Twanky and Cooper, thoughts of a sexual nature have not entered my head. I shudder at the thought of the things I got up to and the mere mention of Una Stubbs is enough to tip me over the edge. I dream of a day when we shall be married and live together in complete love and harmony. I want to spend my days with you, walking in the park, smelling the flowers and baking cakes. I want to sing to you and read you poetry. That reminds me Justin, where is the love poem I asked you to write for me? It would mean so  much to me for you to write a poem expressing your feelings for me. Please, please, please send me  love poem in your next email then I shal be the happiest woman on earth!!

I know that you are not like any of the men I have known in the past. You are real and trustworthy and from this moment on, my past does not exist. All that matters is the furture. OUR future together Justin. You have set me free!!! I am a new woman and you are my new man. I need to know that you trust me too Justin. Do you know that I will never let you down like your EX girlfriend did? I will stand by you no matter what hardships we endure. I am yours and you are mine forever.

I must sleep now Justin as it is late. I am so so happy that you are not ill or dead and you still love me. I can now sleep a happy woman!

Yours forver till the desert sands freeze over and the camels come skating home.

Samantha xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS Do you know many divers?

He lost control and went to bed! A reply from Justin.

Well well well!!! After 6 days of no communication, the lovely Justin sent me not one, but three emails all in one day! Aren't I the lucky lady?! Apparently the reason he didn't reply sooner was that he did some exercise, lost control and went to bed!!! Oh the poor baby!! He then waffles on with his usual, badly scripted nonsense. But bless him, he tells me his fathers dying words -  " None knows it all, We need each other to make it up to our divers destinies".  Divers? But I don't know any divers! Oh and he asks again for my cellphone number. Might have to get me a cheap sim for my old phone!!

My Sweety Samantha,

 

I am sorry for delay in replying your mail, It has been long I exercised my body, so after the exercises I lost control and went to bed. but in all even right in my dream you became my priority.

 

I am well impressed with the level of understanding and committement towards this meeting and I am well convinced that there is nothing that will stop this except you and I. I feel like telling you little more about me. I am a man that has never felt the love of my parents and presently have none to confide on if not GOD the Most High alone. I was living in the world of loneliness till I met you. I know and have been told that everyone has his or her own destiny and the way you begin your journey of life may not be the same with mine likewise the ending of the journey. I am using this time to inform you that I dont have a big family on earth but I have one in heaven. I am simply an orphan that has worked very hard to become what I am today in all purity in business and in life style.

For two differents people to come together, the both must know that 2 differents worlds are coming together to be one and that will be a challenge that this same both has to face if really they want to be together. I am a man that don't like to put my social status or level in life at front when it comes in Love Deals. I am real and Honest and tenderhearted in all my committements but don't like someone that feels that She is can make it alone for we all depend on each others for survival. This is the last word my father said before He died" None knows it all, We need each other to make it up to our divers destinies".

 

In all I am trying to say is I need you and want to be with you even if it will take me the eternity I am ready. The level I am now with you has nothing to do with when I met you, I feel more close to you each passing moment and I don't want this to be a dream but a reality. I will like to correct something in you that i see it may sonner or latter be a problem in between is do not and never compare my love and ways of doings things with your past experiences, for I am uniquely I, not like others. The past may have no good records but we can make it up again and better than your past experiences if you can open your heart to me as I do to you.

 

I want to build my business with you, I hope you know I deal on Gold and Diamond Trade, it's interesting you will love it. Above all I am in love with you my dearest, Forgive me if I am fast in telling you but just know that it's killing each passing minutes, I love you and deeply I confess it... you are my choice and forever you will be... I loving you now and will always do. I think this time will be the best time to be together forever, I desire it so much dearest. Send me your cellphone.

 

Take care of yourself for me,

Thinking deeply for you.

McBride Justin