What a surprise, Justin needs me to send him some money!!

As predicted, today came THE email!! My dearest, darling Justin has gone and got himself into a spot of bother. He is, apparently in the custody of the Ivory Coast Police Force because he needs to provide some documentation that costs £36, 750 and he only has £35,00 so could I kindly send him £1750 by Western Union Money Transfer! He can take a running jump. After all, he never sent me my love poem!!

There is Problem Over The Purchasement Of The Documents...

 

                Monday 31^st October 2011

 

My sweetheart,

 

It's a great that I can read from you and your words of encouragement; I sincerely appreciate your gesture of words. You came into my life and I became hopeful of all my daily endeavors like wise dreams of life and target in business, you in one way or the other made me responsible over my responsibilities, I don't know what I will have become without you on my side. I love you daily and will ever do till my dying day.

 

My Love, the condition to purchase the documents is very complicated and expensive. I have gone to see the Minister of Inter/Exter Affaires with The Minister of Finances. And the both gave me the conditions that will enable me access my money when I get back home. The cost of these documents including the Tax is £36.750. And the Total Money I have on me now is £35.000 and without the charges are being completed they will not accept it. Please dear I am now stranded here because of £1750. I am asking you to assist me pay off this charge and when I come to your country can access my account and reimburse you back in double folds. Without these documents the immigration officers will not allow me fly out because I have no prove and that may put a question mark on my reputation and integrity. The money that was transferred is so great that I didn't want to lose anything out from there nor having any problem. Please for the sake of God assist me for my house also is on collateral in the bank for I placed my house for collateral so that I can raise enough money for this business. I am in the Police custody at the moment and they confirmed to me that which the complete payment they won't free me, the worst is that they eased my passport and some of my traveler’s documents. My love, what I am asking you may be difficult to you but for the sake of our future and my investment, please find a way to help me out from this jungle hills. I am down on my knees pleading you to help me get the remaining balance so that I will leave as fast as possible. Please We have a great future together and as you know two heads are better than on. I count on you to get over this mess. I count on you and I know your heart towards me is good likewise mine. I love you and will forever love you till my dying day.

 

Please try and help me with the balance, send it through western union money transfer or Money gram money transfer agency close to you to my information:

 

Name: McBride Justin

Address: No. 16 rue des chevaliers, Abidjan – Ivory Coast

 

As soon as you sent it email me the information, please I beg you so that I can leave here.

 

I will be waiting for your response, please call me on this number:  +225-45347225 .

 

Thanks in advance for all the time you have accorded me since we met, once more I count on you and love you more and more.

 

Your one and only,

Justin McBride

Merkins and Gherkins - a reply to Justin

As Justin has arrived safely on The Ivory Coast to complete his business deal with the Arabians, I thought it only fair that I tell him all about my own business. I am the largest importer of pubic wigs and pickled cucumbers in the Western Hemisphere! I am bit miffed as he still hasn't sent me a love poem so he's had a gentle reminder!

Hello my darling Justin.

I was happy to hear that you have arrived safely at youir destination on The Ivory Coast. What an exciting life you lead! I am so glad to hear that you are successfull in your business deals and that you are being treated well by your business associates. Please make sure you wear a hat and plenty of sunscreen to protect that delicate fair skin of yours or you will end up looking like a sun dried beetroot!! The weather there is awfully hot.

I have realised that I haven't told you about my own business. How very remiss of me!! I own a small but extremely successfull company called 'Merkins and Gherkins.' I am the largest exporter of pubic wigs and pickled cucumbers in the Western Hemisphere. They may seem a funny combination but believe me, it goes down a storm with the Hollywood 'A listers'. I have provided many a merkin to top Hollywood producers and my furry flange fillers have graced the genitals of such film greats as George Clooney, Sienna Miller, Danny DeVito and Jennifer Aniston. I think the most memorable and probably most widely talked about merkin usage was the one I made especially for Thora Hird for her imfamous nude scene in Last of the Summer Wine. It took months and months of work to get the fit and style just right as Thora was a rather unusual shape 'down below'. She was also extremely fussy and a bit of a perfectionist! I can laugh about it now but at the time, she drove me to the point of breakdown. She insisted on it being made from the fur of the endangered Mantled Howler Monkey so I found myself on an expedition to Southern Mexico of all places. The little buggers are pretty hard to track down, them being endangered and all that but I did manage to find a couple and after slipping them a few bananas spiked with rohypnol, I carefully gave them both a short back and sides and was on my way. I worked night and day for 2 weeks solid to make Mrs Hirds merkin. I stitched, glued and bouffanted and the finishing touch was a neat set of diamonique crystals in the shape of a 'T'. Many people have said that I and Mrs Hirds Merkin were the catalyst that sparked off the current fashion of 'vajazzling', and I do believe we were!

Currently the most popular styles of Merkin I sell are the pirate (with a removable japs eye patch), the Flange 'Fro (a hugely bushy early Jackson 5 tribute merkin) and the seasonal Halloween Howler with removable sound board that when pressed plays various phrases such as 'welcome to the tuna tunnel of hell', 'enter the cave of doom, you'll never leave' and 'trick or treat, heres my magic wand to eat' whilst accompanied by various screams and howling noises. So far it's proving a best seller!

The gherkins I sell are of the highest quality and I pride myself on only using local organic suppliers. What is so amazing about my gherkins I hear you ask? Well my gherkins are no ordinary gherkins young man! Oh no! They are unique and not to be found anywhere else. They are not just your common or garden gherkin, these are super gherkins! They don't come in just the usual vinegar flavour, oh no, we are extremely diverse. Tell me Justin, have you ever tried a double choc ammoretto gherkin? I thought not!! How about a strawberry milkshake and pukka pie flavoured one? Ah ha!! And the bubble gum and Harveys Bristol Cream ones are just divine. Your tastebuds will never have experienced such delights as they sensation you get when munching down on one of mine. Justin, you really have to try them at some point.

So how come merkins and gherkins? Well, on one of my regular trips to the USA, delivering a job lot of blue tinted merkins for the contraversial sex scene in the latest blockbuster 'Smuf' movie, I had a jar of my home made gherkins with me. I was sat, happily munching down on an extra large turkish delight flavoured one when the star of the film, Hank Azaria (yes, it really was him!!) came and enquired about what it was I was deep throating. I gave him a nibble and he was instantly hooked! Word soon spread about my gherkins (and my amazing deep throating abilities!) and I was inundated with requests for my services (ooops I mean products). It all kind of snowballed from there. I now supply both merkins and gherkins to many companies as well as individuals and the profits have reached an all time high this year with the introduction of my new merkin style gherkin holder.  It's a fur covered tube with optional removable (fake) genitals that has a convenient and hygenic hole for insertion of the gherkin to avoid a sticky mess of the fingers. A brilliant idea and a stroke of genius don't you agree? Barack Obama and John Major certainly do (not that I am one to name drop of course!)

Anyway, I have taken up too much of your time already my sweet. I just find you so easy to talk to that I sometimes find it hard to stop. I cannot wait until I hear from you again. My heart beats soley for you, my mind thinks of no one but you and my lips await your sweet kises. Oh Justin, I love you so dearly I fear my heart  will burst open. Please reply as soon as possibe and don't forget my love poem. Sadly, you seem to have ignored my request for a few rhyming words of devotion from you and this makes me sad. I hope you can send one with your next mail.

My undying love to you forever Justin

From your little dove of light. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS. I am glad you are the REAL MAN, not LIKE A MAN but A MAN.

The REAL MAN Not Like A Man But A MAN. - another mail from Justin.

Ooooh he's keen is my Justin! 2 mails in as many days and I haven't even replied to him yet. He's arrived at the Ivory Coast ahead of schedule and is missing me, his little dove of light!! Apparrently I have made him "The REAL MAN  Not Like A Man But A MAN."   *Swoons* over his ultimate manliness!! I am now sat waiting for him to have some kind of crisis where he needs me to bail him out via means of a monetary deposit.

Am Now In West Africa ( Ivory Coast)

 

                              Sweetheart ,

 

Please Don't Get Upset Over Me Due To My Promise  Which I Failed, Not My Intention But Due To The Speed Which The Partners Used Yesterday In The Meeting, Please I Ask You To Forgive Me. You Must Know That Sometimes Man Proposes And God Disposes And Above All, Everything Work Together For Good To Them That Love God. I Have Known Something Which Is Really Helping Me Is To Proclaim Something And Watch And Have It Through The Faith Of Him That Create The Universe Out Of Words Of Mouth ...Just Know That Love Covers Sins And Faults, That Is The Way I Live My Life...

 

To The Glory Of God And To The Shame Of The Devil, I Have Arrived To West Africa (Ivory Coast) Safely And In Some Hours To Come I Will Going To A Board Meeting Cos I Don’t Wanna Spend More Than 3 Days Here, Why? Because I Dying And Missing You Deeply. My Heart And My Arms Are Welcoming You And I Urge You To Come To Me Oh My Little Dove Of Light, Really You Have Made Me The REAL MAN  Not Like A Man But A MAN.

 

I Was So Occupied In Spain With Activities And Contacts,  I Kept You Waiting, I Am Now In West Africa Precisely In Ivory Coast, The Weather Here Is Unfriendly For It's Too Hot To My Liking. I Hope You Are Okay By His Grace And Perfect Will, I Am Happy For Something , That Is The Truth Of My Heart Which I Have Shared With You All This While, I Smile And Laugh Mailing You Cos You Have Become My Joy And Rest In Time Of  Distress And When All Have Abandon You Came, I Am Happy So Happy And Short Of Words, Because Of The Nature Of My Job, Maybe I Will Be Occupied In Call You But If You Have A Chance You Can Shout Me Through This Number Which I Bought This Morning For Your Sake Okay, In All I Will Call You Latter By His Grace...Try Call Me With This Number:   +225 – **************  Or Send Me SMS OR CALL , Just Know I Am There With You And Never Will I Allow Any Evil Come Before You. My Love For You Is Unbeatable, Unbreakable, And So Untouchable...

 

I Stop Here For Now Sweetheart, I Love You So Much And Missing You Deeply, I Love You So Much.

 

Yours Only Darling,

Justin McBride

I've eaten him up but he's leaving for Paris! - A reply from Justin.

Oh be still my beating bank balance! Justin is on the move. The high rolling businessman that he is, he is off to Paris then The Ivory Coast (what a surprise!) to sell some merchanidises that he bought from Japan to some Arabians. I wonder how long it will be before he gets robbed/has a terrible accident or befalls some other  terrible fate and needs me to send him money for fares/medical expenses etc? Or am I just being a cynic? After all, GOD spoke to him again yesterday about me and told him how to move with me and he has made up his mind to love me. Oh Justin!! How could I ever doubt you?!

READY FOR THE JOURNEY

 

My One and Only Heart,

 

To God be all the glory great things he has done and will still do in the future. I am happy for the way our relationship is moving, I know none of us is perfect but through the perfection of the Land of God in his grace we are also perfect. For two people to move on well in life, there must be Tolerance, Patience, Faithful, Understanding, Obedient, Trust Worthy , Loyal, Courage, Generous and above all LOVE. These are all we need dearest. I am using this time to inform you that the Lord spoke to me YESTERDAY about you again and told me how to move with you and ask me to seek his face so that I can become the right man that your soul desires to have, and I will obey HIM. All the characteristics I listed above are the guide lines given to me.

 

I have also made up my mind to Love you and treat like the Right woman and give you all attention even above your expectation. At the Moment I have an urgent trip to make to West Africa, Know this my Love after the trip I shall surely be on my way straight to where ever I can find you so that face to face we can approve of what God has begun in our lives. My reasons of coming to see you;

 

*I am coming to present myself to you personally and to your family which are now mine.
*I am coming to present myself and you to the LORD to prove to you how much you have affected me in the presence of God by accepting you into my life as WIFE..
*My coming also will be based on a good an solid investment that will bear the name of I and YOU
*I am coming to be yours and you will be mine for real ..." Face to face"

I believe in miracle and I count this relationship as divine arrangement from God Almighty, which is a miracle. My heart can't wait to see you and I can't even sleep again cos of you. You have eaten me up and now I see that your love for me is unbreakable and mine is untouchable for you. I really deeply care and love sweetheart and will do everything to keep you.

Is now I need your prayers because I will be leaving to Paris - France today the 27^th  October 2011 and then to Ivory Coast West Africa which I will only spend 4 days in my trip. For there is a company Safire Worldwide in India that has Affiliate company in Paris and In Ivory coast so I am going to supply the merchandises I bought 3 months ago from Japan to some Arabians that needs the merchandises which I have down there. They need many and thank God that I have gotten more than what they needed so I pray that this trip will be a success and together we will praise God. I will like to pick you up and travel with you, but the time is short, I know next time we will go together okay.

Yes, I feel real love whenever I am reading your mails; frankly speaking you have really touched something in me that no one has ever done which you have done without knowing. Love can't be real to my heart if you are not in excitant and life is not sweet if I didn't meet you for you brought lost joy and happiness back to my heart, really I love you and care for you, and nothing can stop it.

 

I was trying to explain that to you briefly sometime ago but now I see is the right time to open more to you. I was into GOLD and DIAMOND Trade for over 6-7 years now and really I will like to do that with you baby, so that it will be more prosperous through the power of our love.

 

I will be travelling to Ivory Coast for the final conclusion about the payments. Please promise me something that you will be in touch with me by net, phone and prayers for without these simple means we can't stand, for love is real when both comply to love based on the unconditional love of God in us...

 

So sweetheart, I want you to be praying for the battle has just began and the battle is the LORD okay, just know that Forever I will love you. Am so sorry it came urgently, I didn’t know I could travel so soon. Know that God is working for you and i good, ok. Please send me your direct phone number please please....

I promise you that I will ever be in touch with you ,I love you so much and don't wanna lose you for anything,

In tears of Joy, 

Yours Only Darling,

Justin McBride

PS Do you know many divers? A reply to Justin

I replied to Justin today after his three emial from yesterday. I do hope he likes Demis Roussos!!! 

Dearest Justin.

Phew!! Am I relieved to hear from you at last. Those six days with no contact were the hardest of my life. They were even harder than the time when I was accidentally locked in a local bus depot garage for the weekend. I fell asleep one friday evening on the upstairs back seat of a double decker number 46 bus after having one too many Malibu and pineapples at a friends 'Happy Divorce' party. I only closed my eyes for what seemed like 5 minutes but when I woke it was 2:15 pm on the Saturday afternoon. The battery had died on my mobile phone and the doors to the bus depot were locked from the outside. Luckily for me I found a half eaten McDonalds happy meal (minus the Lion King wind up growling Simba toy), 2 half drunk cans of Red Bull and the remains of a Greggs cheesy beans and sausage pastie. I carefully rationed my finds to make sure I had enough to last me until the garage reopened on Monday morning. I managed to open the doors of the bus by using the emergency 'push to open' button and thankfully found a toilet!  I relieved myself and turned my underwear inside out (as no woman ever wants to wear the same pair two days running) and had a wander round the depot. Thankfully the depot had skylights so I wasn't imprisoned in total darkness and I managed to have a good old look round. The lost property room was unlocked so I passed some time having a game of 'dressing up like famous characters from history'. Oh how I laughed as a caught sight of myself in a mirror dressed as Mussolini!! I'm sure you'd have laughed too if you'd seen me! I also managed to fashion costumes for Demis Roussos, Kenny Everett and the woman with the wrinkled stockings from Last of the Summer Wine ( I forget her name but I think she did the Shackletons High Seat Chair adverts too if that rings any bells). It's truely amazing the things that people leave on public transport! Anyway, to cut a long story short, the depot manager arrived at 5:30am on Monday morning to be greeted by me in full Dedmis outfit, giving my very best rendition of 'Forever and ever'. How we laughed!!! He was so impressed that he let me keep the Kaftan by way of apology for my accidental imprisonment. I often wear that kaftan and have a good old giggle! Do you like Kaftans Justin? I know a friend who has just bought a job lot off Ebay if you're interested.

I was so sorry to hear how you lost control after exercising. You really must take it easy and not do such damage to your body Justin. Your body is a temple and must be treated as such. Promise me you will take it easy from now on? I can't bear to think of you injuring yourself in such a way.

I was touched that you shared your fathers dying words with me. They brought me to tears. I agree that out divers destinies are of utmost importance and we must strive to make good the words of your father and honour his wisdom. My the Goddess Mozalina look over and cherish him in heaven.

I am glad you do not care for social status or standing, but true love. Justin, believe me whan I say this, I love you deeply and from the very bottom of my heart. Never has anyone made me feel this way. My every waking moment is taken with thoughts of you and my dreams are filled with fantasies of us together. When I say fantasies, I don't mean any of that pervy, kinky kind of stuff. Oh no!! Since those heady, depraved days with the likes of Mr Twanky and Cooper, thoughts of a sexual nature have not entered my head. I shudder at the thought of the things I got up to and the mere mention of Una Stubbs is enough to tip me over the edge. I dream of a day when we shall be married and live together in complete love and harmony. I want to spend my days with you, walking in the park, smelling the flowers and baking cakes. I want to sing to you and read you poetry. That reminds me Justin, where is the love poem I asked you to write for me? It would mean so  much to me for you to write a poem expressing your feelings for me. Please, please, please send me  love poem in your next email then I shal be the happiest woman on earth!!

I know that you are not like any of the men I have known in the past. You are real and trustworthy and from this moment on, my past does not exist. All that matters is the furture. OUR future together Justin. You have set me free!!! I am a new woman and you are my new man. I need to know that you trust me too Justin. Do you know that I will never let you down like your EX girlfriend did? I will stand by you no matter what hardships we endure. I am yours and you are mine forever.

I must sleep now Justin as it is late. I am so so happy that you are not ill or dead and you still love me. I can now sleep a happy woman!

Yours forver till the desert sands freeze over and the camels come skating home.

Samantha xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS Do you know many divers?

Email 3 from Justin

This was Justin's third email to me. He loves me (reaches for the sick bucket)

I am afraid you will turn your back on me as my ex girl friend did to me, you have to know I am now devoted to you and you alone...I love you so much

Email 2 from Justin

Short but sweet. Does he think that shouting at me will make me believe him?

Yes I love you with 
all my heart

He lost control and went to bed! A reply from Justin.

Well well well!!! After 6 days of no communication, the lovely Justin sent me not one, but three emails all in one day! Aren't I the lucky lady?! Apparently the reason he didn't reply sooner was that he did some exercise, lost control and went to bed!!! Oh the poor baby!! He then waffles on with his usual, badly scripted nonsense. But bless him, he tells me his fathers dying words -  " None knows it all, We need each other to make it up to our divers destinies".  Divers? But I don't know any divers! Oh and he asks again for my cellphone number. Might have to get me a cheap sim for my old phone!!

My Sweety Samantha,

 

I am sorry for delay in replying your mail, It has been long I exercised my body, so after the exercises I lost control and went to bed. but in all even right in my dream you became my priority.

 

I am well impressed with the level of understanding and committement towards this meeting and I am well convinced that there is nothing that will stop this except you and I. I feel like telling you little more about me. I am a man that has never felt the love of my parents and presently have none to confide on if not GOD the Most High alone. I was living in the world of loneliness till I met you. I know and have been told that everyone has his or her own destiny and the way you begin your journey of life may not be the same with mine likewise the ending of the journey. I am using this time to inform you that I dont have a big family on earth but I have one in heaven. I am simply an orphan that has worked very hard to become what I am today in all purity in business and in life style.

For two differents people to come together, the both must know that 2 differents worlds are coming together to be one and that will be a challenge that this same both has to face if really they want to be together. I am a man that don't like to put my social status or level in life at front when it comes in Love Deals. I am real and Honest and tenderhearted in all my committements but don't like someone that feels that She is can make it alone for we all depend on each others for survival. This is the last word my father said before He died" None knows it all, We need each other to make it up to our divers destinies".

 

In all I am trying to say is I need you and want to be with you even if it will take me the eternity I am ready. The level I am now with you has nothing to do with when I met you, I feel more close to you each passing moment and I don't want this to be a dream but a reality. I will like to correct something in you that i see it may sonner or latter be a problem in between is do not and never compare my love and ways of doings things with your past experiences, for I am uniquely I, not like others. The past may have no good records but we can make it up again and better than your past experiences if you can open your heart to me as I do to you.

 

I want to build my business with you, I hope you know I deal on Gold and Diamond Trade, it's interesting you will love it. Above all I am in love with you my dearest, Forgive me if I am fast in telling you but just know that it's killing each passing minutes, I love you and deeply I confess it... you are my choice and forever you will be... I loving you now and will always do. I think this time will be the best time to be together forever, I desire it so much dearest. Send me your cellphone.

 

Take care of yourself for me,

Thinking deeply for you.

McBride Justin

6 days and no response - Have I been rumbled?

Well it had been six days since Justins last reply so I had started to think that maybe he had rumbled me. It had even been suggested that maybe he'd 'googled' himself and seen my blog! In one last attepmt to lure him back, I decided to email him asking after his well being and casually mentioning my wealth! 

Dearest Justin.

It's now been 5 days since I last heard from you. I don't know what to think any more. My initial thoughts were that you are ill. Maybe this is indeed the case and you are too ill to reply. I dearly hope that all is well with you but a part of me hopes you are ill and have not just become bored of me.

Maybe you have had a change of heart and have decided that I am not the woman for you after all. If this is the case, please Justin, put me out of my misery and let me know. If you don't love me as you said you did in previous messages, my heart will be broken but I shall leave you in peace and not continue to email you. I don't want to be a pest.

I really thought what we had was something special. I thought that I had finally found a man who I could trust and love for ever more. Maybe I was wrong? Maybe I am just a love sick old fool Justin who fell for your good looks and sweetness.

Right now I would give anything to be back in contact with you. I may have riches, a successfull business, properties here and overseas but I would trade them ALL for true love. Material things mean nothing if you don't have someone special to share them with. As you know, I have no children or siblings and both my parents and grandparents are no longer on this earth. I may be financially comfortable with my inheritences from them all but I have a void in my life that money will never be able to fill.

I hope I will hear from you again Justin, even if it is to tell me that you no longer love me. At least that way I can move on with my life and seek true love elsewhere. I hope this isn't the case and will pray for an answer soon from you.

Be happy Justin

All my devoted love forever

Samantha xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Are you ok? A mail to Justin.

Having not heard from Justin in a few days I thought I'd send a quick mail. I didn't want him to think I was losing interest so I sent this :

Dearest Justin.

I have tried so hard not to mail you and be a pest but I simply cannot wait any longer. I must know, are you ok?

Your last email has me so, so worried and I cannot clear my head of thoughts that you may be ill. Please Justin, let me know that you are ok. For all I know, you may have been trampled and injured by a hoard of rampant, horny goats or succumbed to a nasty bout of gingivitis of the anoos. All I need is a message from you to say that you are alive and well and I shall be happy once more. I just can't stand the uncertainty.

Justin, I shall continue to pray that you will be delivered from whatever ails you and hope for a speedy reply.

I know we have chatted a lot but is there anything you wish to know about me or ask of me? Just ask and I will tell and if there is anything I can do to make you happy, just say and I will do it. I just want to make you happy Justin :)

Keep safe, be happy and please email me back soon.

Your ever loving and devoted Samantha xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS plain natural yoghurt is good for gingivitis of the anoos. Just saying.

Justin, Justin, my heart is a bustin' - a poetic reply!

I was going to send Justin a photo of 'me' as requested but decided against it. He can wait a little longer for the joy of gazing upon my beauty! I have decided instead to send him a love poem and have asked for one in return. after all, he did ask what he could do to make me happy! I have also questioned his 'dying love bed' comment and told him all about how I am praying for him. I hope he appreciates how much effort I am going to on his behalf!!

My dearest darling Justin.

Oh what joy to receive such a speedy reply from you. I have been obsessively checking my emails since yesterday, hoping that my last revelation did not put you off. You truely are a wonderful, spiritual and incredible man to forgive me and still want to correspond with me despite my terribly sinful past. You truely are an incredible person Justin. I have never ever met anyone like you.

The feelings I have for you grow on a daily basis and my heart is almost fit to burst from the love I feel for you. I cannot believe my luck that I have finally met the one whom I am destined to  be with forever and that you feel the same way. Please Justin, tell me of your feelings for me. How do I make you feel? How would you describe the love you feel for me? I have tried to  sum up my feelings in a short poem I have written for you. I hope you like it!

Justin
Justin
My heart is a bustin'
With love and care for you
Justin
Justin
I really am trustin'
That you feel the same way too!

Justin McBride
Please be by my side
And love me forever true
Justin McBride
My love I can't hide
I need to be with you.

You asked what you could do to make me happy. Would you please write me a love poem too Justin? I love poetry and a poem of love written by you, especially for me would mean so much. It would show me how much you care and how deep your feelings are for me.

Justin, I have to admit that I am a little bit worried. In your last email you said you were "on your dying love bed". Are you ill? You haven't mentioned any illness to me before and now I am going out of my mind with worry. I am meditating and praying constantly to the wonderous Goddess Mozalina that you be spared any sickness and be restored to good health. If you are ill Justin, please be honest with me. We can get through this together. The prayer I am saying may help you to feel more positive so I shall share it with you.

Wonderous, most Holy Goddess Mozalina, look down on my darling Justin. He is a righteous man, free of sin and evil intentions. Please heal his body, protect his spirit and fill him full of your love. Oh Goddess Mozalina, I offer myself to you. Use me as you see fit. I am your tool, just as Justin is a tool too. TiVo TiVo Zumba TiVo TiVo Zumba Goddess Mozalina, highest of high, holiest of holy. May the Goddess Mozalina and the Arc Angel Isaac watch over Justin and heal his broken body, mind and spirt. TiVo TiVo Zumba TiVo TiVo Urbex.
I do hope this short prayer gives you comfort and a realisation that you are the dearest and most important thing to me Justin. Please send me a speedy reply and set my mind at ease that you are not in fact dying as your last email led me to believe. I shall continue to pray just in case you are ill as it won't do any harm now will it?

Yours loving and forever

Your ever loving Samantha xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS I am so glad I make you fill complete.

He loves me on his dying love bed!! Another reply from Justin!

So, he was speedier with his reply this time. He obviously cannot control the urge to contact me now. *Swoon*  He's now decided that he wants me to send him photos of myself. I have 'altered' a couple of pics that I pilferred off the internet (apologies to whoever the stock photo is of!)  He also wants to speak on the phone! Surely his Ivory Coast accent would be a bit of a give away?!!  

I am rather worried about Mr McBride as he tells me he is on his dying love bed. Surely he isn't going to ask me for money towards his medical bills?!!

Here is his reply!!

 

Nothing can be better than this meeting....

Sweetheart,

I am so happy for the inner feeling that you are pouring out and I know that all things work together for good to those that always have good intentions towards others.You must know this day that our meeting is not planned nor arranged by any of us but is divinely preditermined for it to be so and I am glad for that. You must know as well that Love is Real when both comply and agree to love based on the unconditional love that flows in their hearts.

When two come together I know that there are many differences between the both , I mean the background but when love comes it turns it to ONE LIFE STYLE.I want you to please tell me how I can make you happy and make you never to remember your past, My intentions towards you are all good not evil , to love you and care for you is my command. How I wish this meeting will yield inot everlasting love without any set back, Can you give me the chance that is what my heart is asking you this day? I fill complete since the day we started to mail each other...Babe I have a lot in me to tell you, but will love to talk on phone with you, hope you will love it....I am on my dying love bed declaring my care and feeling to you my queen, loving you. Happy week end and more blessings and favour from God. Send me your phone number and pictures...
 
I remain your faithful
Justin McBride

Rim blocks, Twanky and Cooper!!

This is my reply to Justin follwing his heartfelt email of earlier today. I do hope he can forgive my loose and disgracefull past!

Dearest darling Justin.

Please don't be scared for you have nothing to fear. Let my love wipe away those worries and be happy in the knowledge that the great Goddess Mozalina has a plan for us. Yes Justin, I said US as I do believe that we are destined to be together forever. How am I so sure of this? I shall try and explain and hope and pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive me for what I did. Please don't hate me Justin as I don't think I could bear that.

For many years I led an unholy life Justin. I drank alcohol, took drugs and led a life of extreme sexual depravity. Please don't hate me for this for it is something I have deep regret for now. I was lonely and craved comfort, both physical and emotionally. I would go to parties, drink and take illegal substances then have sexual relations with anyone who so wished to use me in that way. The low point came when I awoke one morning in a strange house that belonged to man I now know as Mr Twanky. Mr Twanky and his friend Seymour Cooper had done unmentionable things to me involving orange soft furnishings and a quiche and I was extremely traumatised by this. I grabbed my clothes, hastily dressed and ran out of the house. As I was running down the street, tears flooding from my eyes, I ran head first into a lady. This lady is now one of my closest friends and was a Vicar. She kindly took me to her chuch in Dibley, cleaned me up, made me tea and told me that God would forgive me. This lady, the Vicar of Dibley was to become my saviour.

Geraldine (the vicars first name) explained to me that The Great Goddess Mozzalina had a plan for my life. She was looking over me and would help me overcome my addictions. From that moment onwards, I put my trust in her and have turned my life around. Whilst sat in that small, cold church in Dibley, I had a vision! A postman was delivering leaflets for a local discount store. I hadn't noticed it sat in the porch of the church and as I left, I slipped on it and fell to the ground. The writing on the leaflet said " Just in today! Two for a pound on all rim blocks." Just in -  Justin - it was a sign!!  I knew there and then that my destiny lay in the hands of a man named Justin. As I looked up, a statue of The Goddess Mozalina looked down upon me and I felt her good grace and love shining through.

Since then I have waited patiently for the one named Justin to come into my life. I know it probably sounds crazy, but you are my destiny. You are the one I am destined to love. It has been written since the dawn of time and our time is now.

Oh Justin, I forgive you for your untruths about your family. I care not that you are a full time orphan. I hope you can forgive me for past indescretions and see to a future, a future where we are enveloped with love for each other. I have no one else. I am all alone in this life. Since meeting Geraldine (the vicar) and having my vision, I have not touched drink or drugs and haven't had sexual relations since that fateful time with Mr's Twanky and Cooper. Please forgive me Justin. I fear my heart would break in two if you did not love me anymore.

I await your loving and forgiving response.

Your ever loving Samantha xxxxxxx

PS I did buy some of the two for a pound rim blocks but they made me rashy so never bought them again.

PPS I really do love you Justin xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx x

The handsome Mr McBride.

Justin case you were wondering what the charming Mr McBride looks like, here are the photos he sent me of himself!!! Isn't he a handsome chap?

Reply from Justin - the full time orphan!

This is the reply I received today following my message about the microlight/cow incident! Wow!! What a coincidence. Justin is actually an orphan too, just the same as me. Isn't that just freaky!! But he isn't just any old kind of orphan, he is a 'full time orphan'. Amazing, considering he is an adult!! What is also amazing is that he is now completely in love with me, despite only exchanging a couple of messages. Please note in this message, the emphasis on GOD. He thinks I am a religious nut so is doing all he can to let me know that he is too. We are so compatible it's scary! Where has he been all my life? (besides the internet cafe in Nigeria or wherever he is!) Oh and WTF?? He seems to think we are already married (guff about matrimonial vows!!)

I am scared that you will want a man like me....
                                                                   
Beloved Sweetie,

 

I am glad once again to be before my PC to email you and know how you are doing. I wasn't away to get you worried but is due to some ideas that came into my mind and that really scared me. It's not about you but about myself and my background. I vowed to GOD to tell you everything about me both the good and the bad and if it's the will of GOD we shall still be together. Behold my worries in this relationship and I won't want you to turn your back on me due to the things I will say in this mail.

 

You have to know that I am a man full of care and love but has never experienced real love in my life. I was born in the year 1960 and unfortunately I didn't know or see my biological parents till this day. But according to the plan of life, I was adopted by my foster parents that told me when I was 5 years old that they weren't my real parents. Even my foster parents left this world 10 years ago, it's a way to inform you that I am full time orphan. After their death the family of my foster parents asked me to leave them alone that I came to inherit what the brother had, I was rediculed and sent out from a house which I know that I bought for my foster parents. I didn't give up and after 3 years GOD gave me another better house than the former.

 

After then, I met my EX and business associates that turned down all my efforts of years, through the experience I decided to work alone never to share my business ideas with anyone nor trust any. I have gone through pains and GOD has  been faithful has healed my heart and mind, now I am a new man. I have also made God my whole world. By the grace of GOD I have a good reputation and integrity since I came down into this world.

 

This is what I will like to inform you, can you build a lasting Home in the fear of GOD Almighty with an orphan? Why I asked you this is because my heart has gone ahead of me and at the moment I am in LOVE with you even when I know I haven't seen you face to face. I am trying to control my feeling not mailing all the time but now I will like to inform you that even my soul has approved you but if you think it's impossible to be with me, I will still try to understand you for I can't oblige you to do something you don't want to do. But as for me, How I wish to spend my rest life by your side. You are my dreams come through. I loving you dearly and deeply.

 

I shall be waiting for your response,

I shall forever remain faithful to my matrimonial vows to you...

 

Loving you always,
Yours sweety

McBride Justin

My response.

This is my response to Justin's heartbreaking email. How could anyone not love him? I hope he falls for me. He is such a catch!

Dearest Justin

Oh my heart skipped a beat when I saw you had replied. Justin, you have no idea how happy I was to receive your reply.

I was in tears as I read about all your troubles. Oh Justin, why has someone as lovely as yourself been dealt such a raw deal? Your faith must carry you through and you must look to the fact that God will punish those who have wronged you. He will smite them and may they burn in the hot hot fires of hell. You are an amazing  person to be able to forgive them, especially the ex girlfriend who betrayed you like that. How could someone who claims to love you, steal from you and deceive you in such a way? 

If I were to be in a relationship with someone as wonderful and genuine as you, I would treasure and love you for an eternity and never do anything to jeapordise that. All I can say is that she must have been a fool.

I shall tell you a little about myself now Justin if I may.

I am 42 and live in the UK. I was orphaned at a young age (2) when both my parents were killed in a freak accident. They were driving down a narrow country lane on the way home from visiting an elderly relative. To the left was a field full of cows, just doing their usual cow type business. A local pilot was flying his microlight aircraft above the field when it was struck by lightening. The plane came hurtling down into the field of cows and crashed, bursting into flames with a huge explosion. The impact of the explosion caused one of the cows to be flung high into the air. Unfortunately, the cow landed with an enormous impact right onto the roof of my parents car, squashing the roof into them and casuing them to crash their car. They were killed instantly. Although I was young, I can still remember them and hold a great love for them in my heart. I have never eaten beef or drunk milk since as the memory of that deadly cow will live with me forever.

I was raised by my grandparents who were kind gentle people but have both been dead for a number of years now. I have no brothers or sisters and no children either. I live alone except for my 7 pet rats and my memories. I have to admit that I sometime get lonely and long for someone to love and care for. I pray to the Goddess Mozalina that she will deliver the perfect man to me, for me to love and cherish for all time.

Did I tell you that I love to write poetry Justin? I love words and it helps me to express how I feel. I'd love to share one of my poems with you and hear what you think of it.


If you walk with you head down,
You can count every step you take,
I know every place I've been now,
I can count every mistake.
Ive heard so many times before.
Almost forgotten how to dream,
All that I was running from,
Is all I need to save me.


I couldnt let you in my heart, 
Light and fiction it's falling apart.
Just wait I found you,
Dont give it up. I have overcome.
Now I cant let you go,
You showed me something that I never know,
And finally I found the one. I have overcome.

I hope you like it Justin.

Anyway, I should leave you in peace now. I dearly hope to hear from you again soon.

Be happy and may the Goddess Mozalina shine her love and blessings down upon you.

Samantha x x x

**Lyrics pinched from Alexandra Burke - Overcome**

Message 2 from 'Justin'.

This is the response I received following my initial email to Mr McBride. Please note the excessive use of capital letters at the beginning of every word! The poor man had such a hard life. My heart bleeds for him!

Hello Dear Samantha,  

Thanks For The Privilege Of Communicating With You Independently By Email. I Believe The First Thing We Need To Do At This Point Is Allowing Each Other A Little Access Into Our World As I Have No Doubt That A Door Of Friendship With A Great Promise Of Something More Than Just Friendship Has Opened And Believe Me By Faith, I Can See The Beauty Of What This Little Effort Will Produce At The End.

My Full Name Is McBride Justin Born On The 24th December 1962 In Bronx New York. I Am A Mixed Anglo-American; My Dad Is An American Born And Brought Up In New York, Mum Had A British Background Originally From Wales, But She Spent Almost All Her Life In The United States. My Parents Relocated To Seattle, Washington When I Was Still Very Young; So I Grew Up In Seattle, My Mother Gave In To Cancer A Few Years After We Relocated To Seattle. So I Grew Up With My Father And The Only Brother Bright Who Was A Victim Of Terrorist Attack On World Trade Center In 2001. My FatherCouldn’t Handle the News of His First Son’s Death He Had Stroke and Presently Partially Paralyzed and His Mobility Impairment Makes Him 100% Dependent.  I Lived and Schooled In UK; Had My Degrees In The College Of Manchester, And Oxford University Respectively; I Graduated As Civil Engineer With A Degree In Estate Management.

I Have Experienced A Great Emotional Torture In My Life Because Of The Lost Of The Two Most Important People In My Life, But In All I Decided To Move On. Another Most Painful Event That Almost Ruined My Entire Life Was In 2002.  I Met A Lady Called Hannah From Madrid - Spain That I Loved With Everything In Me And Wanted To Build Home With Her, But Unfortunately She Was A Wrong Choice, I Trusted Her Even With My Life, But She Turned Around And Hurt Me By Going Out With Her Ex-Boy Friend And Latter On In Collaboration With Her Ex Emptied Our Joint Account Of A Very Huge Amount Because She Had Unrestricted Access To The Account, She Had Access To Some Of My Most Vital Documents Because She Did Everything To Earn My Trust Over The Little Time We Spent Together, But Struck Me So Badly When I Never Expected. I Decided To Forgive Her Because I Loved And Can’t Imagine Myself Seeing Her Suffer In Jail.

Since The 2003 Till This Point I Have Not Been Into Any Relationship. The Troubles That I Encountered As I Was Growing Up Didn’t Dampen My Zeal To Work Hard And Be Successful And Was Not Enough For Me To Lose Hope Of Finding A Sincere God Fearing And Honest Woman; I Didn’t Tell You All These To Attract Any Pity, But For The Necessity Of Transparent Introduction Of Myself And To Tell You That I Am Completely Healed And Ready To Face A Brighter Future For God Is With Me, The Thing I Suffered In Life Made Me A Man Of Strong Moral Values And Character.

Presently I Am Still Single And Live Alone With My 3 Dogs 3 Parrots In My House In Seattle Washington, But I Have People Working For Me As Stewards, Gardeners Dog Trainers Etc. I Am A Very Energetic, Strongly Rooted Christian With A Great Sense Of Humor. I Strive To Be The Best That God Has Called Me To Be And I Try To Encourage Others To Do The Same. I Love Living Life In All Simplicity And Consider Myself A Cross-Cultural Individual And A Broadminded Person. I Have A Variety Of Interests, But Especially Enjoy Warm Climate Outdoor Activities (E.G. Beach, Golf, Rollerblading, Biking, Etc. And Weekend Getaways. I Am Family And Friend-Oriented. Although Not A Perfect Human, But I Will Describe Myself As A Work In Process; So If You Find Any Fault In Me Or In My Character, Don’t Throw Me Away Because I Can Be Changed Or Corrected With Love.  Although Out Of Relationship For Some Years Now, Yet I Am A Very Romantic Person. I Am Not Expecting My Soul Mate To Be An Angel From Heaven For I Know There Will Be None. In All Sincerity I Am In Search Of A Woman With A Vacuum In Her Heart Which Only A Man Like Me Could Fill, I’m  Trusting God For A Woman  That Can Accommodate Anyone And Love Without Holding Back Anything. Someone That Is Not Judgmental, Real In All Her Commitments… For A Start, This Is The Much About Me. GOD Is All For Me And To Me.

I Long to Read Your Mail Again,

McBride Justin

Reply from me.

This is the response I sent to the initial message. This was sent to his private email address.

Dearest Justin

Thank you so very very much for your lovely message on the dating site. I was overjoyed to hear from you.

I am a 42 year old woman who is looking to meet the love of my life. I have long curly red hair and green eyes.

I am a very spiritual lady who takes my beliefs very seriously. Are you a believer too Justin? It is very important to me that any man who I choose to share my life with has a strong set of beliefs and is spiritual and moral. People who do not believe, well we all know what will happen to them don't we? Yes! Damned to the fires of hell for eternity.

My hobbies are reading, singing, baking wonderful cakes and meditating. Meditation is so very important isn't it Justin? It helps clear and focus the mind, making for a brighter and more spiritual soul. Are you a spiritual soul Justin?

So Justin, please tell me all about you. I want to hear everthing! I have a really good feeling that you and I are going to have something very special, a love to last an eternity. I do hope I am not being too forward but the great Goddess Mozalina has given me a sign and I am happy to trust her judgement.

I await your honest and speedy reply Justin. Love cannot wait, I am sure you agree!!

With much love and blessings

Samantha x x x x x x

Message number 1

This is the initial message I received on a dating site. Pretty obvious it's a scammer.

Dearest Friend,  
I was arrested by your profile, and I will love to know you better and more. I believe time always bring 2 to make 1, I am here in search of my half or my soulmate. I hope that your profile is real, if it's so please Can you give me a chance to know you and express my kind personality with you? if it's ok with you , I will like you to please email me on this address and don't forget to tell me more of you, your likes and dislikes including your pictures: ********@rocketmail.com 

NB: Know that distance , age, social status have nothing to do in this, above all LOVE is the Greatest... Thanks for your comprehension and consideration 

Yours new friend, I wait for your reply, Justin McBride

The scammer!!

A quick introduction for those who have not had access to my blog before.  I have set this up as a dedicated blog soley for the correspondance currently taking place between myself and a Mr Justin McBride. Mr McBride is an internet scammer who contacted me through an online dating site. His initial message was badly written in poorly translated English, all the trade marks of an internet scammer.

I have decided to have a bit of fun with him and see how long I can string him along with rediculous tales and promises of true love!!!

Please note, the character I have created is nothing like me. I am not a god fearing, orphaned, religious zealot!

I hope you enjoy this as much as I am!! Long may it continue!