Sadly it's over :(

Well it seems that now it is all over. It was fun while it lasted so Justin, thanks for the laughs!! One last email just in case but I doubt I shall ever hear from my true love Justin ever again :(

My darling Justin

Please reply to me. I miss you terribly my darling. My life is incomplete without you. You brought me so much joy but the flip side is the pain I now feel because you have rejected me.

Please reply my sweet and may the great Goddess Mozalina continue to bless you.

Yours always
Samantha xxxxxxxxxxx

The end of a beautiful love affair? - a message to Justin

I have now been relased from hospital after my acident and am pleading for Justin to reconsider dumping me!

My dearest darling sweet Justin.

I am finally home after being released from hospital today. This should be a joyous occasion but truth be told, I am heartbroken. My neighbour Annette passed on your message that you no longer want to hear from me again.

WHY? What have I done that has made you want to be like this Justin? All I have ever done is be honest, truthful and loving towards you. I have never lied or cheated (even when the gorgeous pizza delivery man offered me a nibble on his pepperoni)  I have laid my soul bare and given my heart to you and you treat me like this.

Was it my fault that I got hit by that lorry? NO!! Did I want to have my leg smashed into pieces and have it screwed back together again? None of it was my fault. I lay in my hospital bed sobbing as I felt my whole world had ended. I was inconsolable Justin. Even the skillfull and very accommodating hands of the extremely good looking doctor could not rouse me from my despair.

Why do you not love me any more Justin? Are you worried that I will now be a cripple, forever confined to a wheelchair or hobbling on sticks? Don't you want a wife with a broken leg? My leg will heal but I fear my heart will not. I cannot believe that you could abandon me like this in my hour of need. I thought you were a genuine and honest man who loved me for the wo(man) that I am . How could you be this cruel to me?

I guess I must abide by your wish and never contact you again. I would like  to hear this directly from you please then I shall leave you in peace.  I just hope that someone out there can help you in your current crisis and send you the money you need to  be released from prison, as een though you profess not to love me anymore, my feelings are still as strong.  Although as you have no family, being a full time orphan I guess this will be pretty difficult.  It's such a shame as I was going to  send Annette to the local Western Union Office to pay the money you need on my behalf. She's off into town later as she had a win on the lottery at the weekend and has to go to sign some release forms etc for it to be paid into her bank account. I just hope she doesn't spend it all on cider!! Obviously now I cannot think of sending money to someone who doesn't love me.

Justin, you have broken my heart. I don't think I shall ever entertain another relationship ever again. I hope you are proud of yourself!!! You have shattered my world just like that lorry of prosthetics shattered my leg.

Be happy Justin, be safe and remember, I will always love you.

Samantha xxxxxxxxxxxxx

A kindred spirit? A reply from Annette

Annette likes bad boys!! Do you think they will be kindred spirits?



You have a lawyer? Why whats up? You really in trouble big time? It dont sound good bruv!!! 

You been a norty boy then? lol lol!!! I did a bit of time a few years back (do't tell  Sammy tho). I got caught shoplifting from 99p Stores.  I still dont no how they spotted the toblerones in me trackie bottom legs!!! Think someone must av grassed me up. It was me first time (getting cort anyway) so the judge just gave me 6 months inside. Think he was havin a bad day (mebbee his missus dint give a him a blowie that  morning lmao!!)

So come on then, what you done? He he he I like a bad boy!

From Annette xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Just forget him - a reply from Justin

He wants us to just forget him - as if!!!

you guys should forget about me, i will be fine soon, I have a lawyer that will help me

Another one for good measure - Annette mails Justin again

Annette needs to ask Justine (he hasnt even noticed) a couple of questions.

JUstine

I know you said not to reply to you but I have to ask (cos I am a nosey cow lol!!)  what was she sending you? Please tell me it wasnnt nuddy pics or anythink gross like that!!  And what do you mean you will be find? You in trouble or summat?

Annette x x

Tuppence - a reply from Annette

Even though Justin requested that Annette not reply to him, she has!! She off to the shop for cider and a lottery ticket! Fingers crossed as it's a rollover!!!


Thts not very nice is it? She's laid up in hospital and you dump her? I'll tell her you said "get well soon" but I think she will be gutted that you've dumped her. She were well into you. I told her that these long distance love things dont work but she dint listen.

Anythink else you want me to tell her? I'm gonna visit her later, tek her some grapes and stuff (and a razor) Seriously man, she is gonna be well gutted. She might be a rich bitch but she's ain't got many frends and stuff. Dunno why she bothers wi me cos I aint got 2 pennies to rub together. Mind you, at least my tuppence is real Roflmfa!!!!

I best get  gone. Off to get some cider for tonight - can't wait to watch X Factor (Johhny to win wooop wooop!!) and gonna put my lottery on. Massive rollover tonight - £25, 000000!! I'll have a bit of that thank you very much lol lol!! Imagine winiing that? I be richer than her lmao!!

Smell ya later Justine

Frim Annette x x x

He's not a happy bunny - Justin replies to Annette

Oohh he's having a right strop is Justin. He doesn't want to hear from Samantha again. Bastard!! I thought he loved me!!!

Tell her safe recovery, and let he or she as the case may be never and not to contact me anymore, I am grateful for the worsing situation, i know it will go this way, but mind you i shall be find, don't reply this mail

And step in my friend Annette (last name Curtain) a message to Justin

Justin is about to find out why the money hasn't arrived. Step in my chavvy neighbour Annette (last name Curtain) passing on a message about my terrible accident!!

Hello Justine

I hope I have got the right email addy. I am one of Samantha's neighbours and her friend the nun, (sister Julie I think her name is) came round to my house earlier on. She asked me to pass a message on to you for Sammy.

The nun said that Sammy was going to town, something to do with sending something to you or summink, when she had an accident. She was crossing the road listening to her Ipod  when she got hit by a lorry full of false legs. Quite ironic really as she's smashed her left leg in and has had to go to hospital. The nun said she has got to have surgery on it as it was well mashed up!!!

Anyway, she is going to be in hospital for a few days cos the docs have gotta put some screws and rods and all that shizzle in it. She's a nice lass but a bit dopey sometimes (don't tell her I said that please).

SO are you her bloke then? She showed me a photo of you and told me you are american. She's lucky cos you is well fit!!!!!    I'd do you!!!!

Anyway Sammy is in da hospital for the next few days and told me to tell you that she loves you an all that stuff. As soon as the big doc man lets her go home she will email you ok. Have you even seen a picture of her? She ain't no oil painting love!! And did she tell you she used to be a man? PMSL!!! OMG!!! You wanna get yourself a real woman love lol lol lol!!

Right, as done what I said I would.

See ya!!

Annette x x

I think he's getting annoyed! - another mail from Justin

Short but sweet! As I haven't emailed him with the transaction code, he sent me this. Do you think he is getting annoyed?

i will chose the both, one and many, please do the transfer today, I get of you

I'm only making plans for Justin - my reply to Justin

Today is the day when Justn thinks he will be getting his hands on £1750 of my hard earned cash. Dream on baby!!

Good morning my darling Justin!!

And what an amazingly good morning it is too :)

I am so excited about today Justin I can barely contain myself. Are you excited too Justin? Are you? Are you?  Today heralds the start of something truely amazing. It's the  start of our new life together.

I was so excited last night that I barely slept. I laid in bed making plans for you. Do you remember the group Xtc and their hit song "Making plans for Nigel"?  It was a bit like that, only "Making plans for Justin" instead!

I'm only making plans for Justin
I only want what's best for him
I'm only making plans for Justin
Justin just needs this (financial) helping hand

And if young Justin says he's happy
He must be happy
he must be happy
He must be happy with my cash

I'm only making plans for Justin
He has his future in a British town
I'm only making plans for Justin
For him I'll wear a wedding gown

And if young Justin needs some money
I'll send him money
Oh lots of money
I will never let him down!

Justin is not outspoken
But he likes to speak
And ask me to send him cash (overseas)
So off to the bank I must dash

I'm only making plans for Justin.

Rightyho my dear, I am off to town to send you the money. I was going to catch a cab but I feel like walking in the grey northern rain this morning. There is just something so life affirming about getting rained on don't you think? I shall walk with a spring in my step, love in my heart and a tingle in my loins (a slight case of thrush. Nothing for you to worry about, I have some cream!)

Please keep an eye on your mail Justin as I shall send you the transaction details as soon as it is complete.

Here's to our long and happy future together!

All my love, devotion and obedience forever

Your darling Samantha xxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS Which would you choose - One giant testicle or twenty little testicles?

More kindness than I can't accomodate - a reply from Justin

As expected, Justin had replied this morning. He must be rubbing his hands with glee as his expected cash windfall. He's going to be sorely disappointed!

My Lovely sweetie,

 

I am so much thankful to me and full of joy because you have shown me real love, I will forever be grateful to you. I was touched when you said you cancelled a business appointment to meet to my needs, honey I will get you back more kindness that you can't accomodate, I am grateful to you always.

 

This is late in the night, I couldn't sleep just thinking of you and our futur, know this today and it's coming from the dept of my heart " WE BOTH SHALL BE HAPPY TOGETHER AS ONE FOREVER AND EVER AND NONE CAN COME IN BETWEEN US" I can feel it, I dearly love you.

 

Thanks in advance for your help to me, I will be waiting for your mail

 

I love you so much,

 

Your one and only Justin

Ooops! I missed the bank - my reply to Justin

Because of his delay in replying to me, I missed the bank! What a shame. Never mind, I'll pay the money tomorrow.


My darling sweet cheeks Justin.

As you took your time in replying to me today I didn't get to the bank in time to send you the money. It was already closed by the time I arrived.

Instead I decided to pay a visit to my old friend Sister Julie the Accepted. She is a nun who lives in the Convent of Saint Jimmy of Saville. She is a gracious and kind lady if a little odorous due to the strict vegan diet imposed by the priest.  Eating that many sprouts may be good for the soul but believe me, it does absolutely nothing for one's digestion!!

Anyway, back to the matter in hand. I did have an important business meeting in my diary for 9am tomorrow but you, your safety and happiness mean so much to me that I have cancelled it! I do hope you are gratefull and will show me the appropriate gratitude in your next email. The meeting was with a new client who is wanting me to make some exclusive christmas design merkins for her sex toys catalogue business. Dame Dildo (as we affectionately call her) needs to discuss the price for me to make 5000 'santa' sacks' for the boys and 5000 'Festive Flanges' for the girls! I have manged to put her on hold until Monday morning so I can put all my time and effort into helping you Justin. You are my priority and don't you ever forget that ok?!!

Right, off to bed for me so I can be up bright and early to get straight to the bank. I will email you the details of the transaction as soon as it is complete and fingers crossed, within a few days we will be starting our new life together. Remember I love you Justin so very, very much.

All my love, devotion and heartfelt emotion

Your ever loyal Samantha xxxxxxxxxxx

PS I showed Sister Julie your photo and she said if she wasn't 70 years old and celibate, she'd do you good style like a horny rabbit!!

I am blessed - another reply from Justin

Maybe he does actually read some of what I write as he reffers to the Great Goddesss Mozalina! He still wants his money though!

My sweeheart,

 

all is alright, just go and send the money I am ready to leave here and please make sure you send it today please, I am tired of staying here;

 

I love you sweetie,

 

May the great Goddess Mozalina bless you always,

 

Justin your sweetie

He still loves me - A reply from Justin

He never commented on me having my chest waxed! All he wants is his money!

My Love,

 

I have no friends here, I am alone and have no one to help, the address i sent you was the address the chief officer gave me; I have never been here before. Baby the same way I sent you the information, as soon as it's done none can pick the money except me and me alone. your 2nd question: I will receive it because it's my name that is one the transfer. the officers will accompagnin me to collect the money, I do not want it to come in their names that is why for more safety let it come in my name.

 

My love don't worry, it has been written that as soon as I pay off the 1750 pounds i shall be released to my country but I will be coming down to manchester.

 

my love there is no problem go and send it and send me all the informations on the transfer paper;

 

I love you too

 

Justin

The banks are about to close, hurry up Justin!

Having had no reply to my questioning email of this morning, I thought it wouldn't hurt to send another one enquiring after Justin's well being. The banks close shortly and I want to get the money to him as soon as possible. Let's see if he replies to this one!

Dearest darling Justin.

Did you get the email I sent you this morning? I set off for town to pay the money as I said I would but you never answered my email. Is everything ok? I have the money ready to send you as soon as you just clarify those couple of questions. I know it's not a huge amount of money but all the same, I want to make sure it gets to you safely.

I do worry about you Justin. I think you are a wonderful soul and actually quite vulnerable. Please let me know you are alright and answer my questions so I can send you the money you need. All I want is for us to start our lives together, to be as one under the love and guidance of the great Goddess Mozalina. She will safely deliver you from your captivity with my financial help so we can be married and be happy at last.

Please reply with the information I need as soon a possible as the banks close in  an hours time and then you will have to wait until tomorow for the money. Time is precious Justin so do as you are told and hurry!

With much love, devotion and obedience

Your (almost) wife Samantha xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS I had my chest waxed in the shape of a 'J' as a tribute of my love for you xxxxxx

Do a runner!!!!! - my reply to Justin

If I am going to send my darling Justin the money he demands I need clarification on a few things first. I have replied with a few questions that I have asked him to answer. He better do or he's gettimg nowt!! I have also come up with a cunning plan!

Good morning Justin.

I feel so much better today after a good nights sleep. It's amazing what a good few Z's can do for a girl. I had the most amazing dream too! It involved Tom Baker, a plate of raspberry jelly and a Black and Decker cordless drill! I was rather moist when I awoke!!  I don't suppose you have been sleeping so well in your cramped prison cell. Oh well! It could be worse I guess. To quote from one of my all time favourite authors, Dr Theodor Seuss Geisel : 

• And suppose that you lived
  In that forest in France
  Where the average young person
  Just hasn't a chance
  To escape from the perilous
  Pants eating plants!

• You oughta be thankful
  A whole heaping lot
  For the people and places
  You're lucky you're not.           (Did I ever tell you how lucky you are? Dr Seuss 1973)   

So Justin, chin up chuck :) Things will get better I am sure.

The banks are open now so I shall shortly make my way into town to transfer the money to you.

I just need to clarify a couple of things first Justin, after all, we don't want anything to go wrong with this transaction do we? The address you have given me, is this a residential or a business address? Obviously you don't live in Abidjan as you are an American citizen so it can't be your home address. You told me it was the very first time you had ever been to The Ivory Coast so I am guessing that you don't have friends there either. Maybe it is the address of a relative?  I am only asking these questions Justin as I want to make sure they money is transferred directly to you and doesn't end up in the hands of some criminal.

Secondly, when I offered to come over to Abidjan with my legal colleagues, you told me that you had been taken to another prison and you had no idea which city you were in. So Justin, if I send the money to the address in Abidjan, how do I know you will receive it? How will you get there to collect it if you are locked up? Surely your captors are not just going to release you to go and collect your money? Or maybe they will! Maybe they haven't thought this through very well at all. (sometimes these criminals are more than a tad stupid)

Justin, I have an idea!!!! ( I am so clever sometimes, quite frankly it scares me!) If your captors set you free to go and collect the money I am going to send you, you could just do a runner! Tell them you are going to  collect the money and return immediately to pay them the remainder of the balance for the documents they require (even though we both know that these supposed documents don't really exist) Leave them something as a bond, your watch or phone or something of similar value. Then, as soon as you get the money I will send you, go to the nearest airport and book yourself on the first available flight to Manchester. Do not worry about your posessions and such like. I will provide everything for you on your arrival. I will treat you like a King! You will want for nothing my darling.

So what do you think? Plan or what eh?!!! Innitt?!!

Right Justin, I have a few things to attend to before I leave for town. Please reply as soon as possible as I am not happy about sending the money until I know exactlywhere it is going and how you are going to access it. Please answer fully all the questions I have asked you as it is most important for this money transferto go through that everything is correct and above board. I do love you so dearly my sweet and just want you to be out of that hell hole as soon as possible.

I shall attend my appointment with my beauty therapist (I still have to wax my chest once a month or it gets a bit stubbly) and await your earnest reply.

Sending you all the love in the world my darling man

From your ever loving and trusting Samantha xxxxxxxxxx

PS if you had to choose would you eat chocolate tasting poo or poo tasting chocolate? Please answer that!!!!!

He is VERY VERY VERY SORRY - a reply from Justin.

It looks as if Justin has actually read my last email. I am sure he either doesn't read them properly or most likely, hasn't got a clue what I am on about as he never makes proper comment on anything I say.  This time he has! Maybe that's because he thinks he is at risk of me not sending him the money he wants. Anyway, he is VERY VERY VERY SORRY for being rude and unrespectful.

My sweetheart,

 

If you can look into my letters you will discovered that I am grieved and in sorrow that is why I sounded that way to you. In all sincerity and honesty I have never deired to hurt you nor say anything that will bruise your heart or the intentions you had for me. I AM VERY VERY VERY SORRY FOR SOUNDING RUDE AND UNRESPECTFUL, PLEASE FORGIVE ME MY LOVE.

 

I said also that i am your husband, and you didn't like it. My wish is to marry you when i will come down to UK , if calling myself your husband annoyed you, I STILL ASK YOU TO FIND A PLACE IN YOUR HEART AND FORGIVE ME.

 

All I have in me now is your love, despite of what I am going through here, please my love help me out for you alone I have left.

 

Please the money has to be sent through Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gramm Money Transfer for safety and quick reception, which means that as soon as you send it in the next 5 minutes I can pick it up and leave here. So this is the information the money will be sent to:

 

Name: McBride Justin

Address: No. 16 rue des chevaliers, Abidjan – Ivory Coast

 

As soon as you sent it email me the information, please I beg you so that I can leave here.

 

I will want you to know this, I am not after your money I love you with all my heart and I want to grow old by your side, to protect, cherish, and care for you that is what I want. ONCE MORE I AM VERY VERY SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME IN ANY WAY I HAVE HURT, I AM MILLION TIME SORRY; I LOVE YOU

 

I will be waiting for your quick response,

 

I love you

Justin McBride

I have told Justin how rude he has been and demanded an apology. Then, and only then will I consider his request (demand) for money. Silly, silly boy!!

Dear Justin.

I am not sure I care for the tone of your last two emails. I have had an extremely stressfull and traumatic day and you haven't even bothered to ask after my well being. What happened to me at the airport this morning was humiliating and has scarred me for life. You seem to have absolutely no idea what life is like for me and the daily troubles and stresses I face. Do you even care? 

I thought you were different Justin. I thought that you genuinely loved me. Now I m not so sure. I am sat here in tears brought on by your lack of compassion and understanding. Your last few emails have been cold and unfeeling and I have found this quite hurtful. I understand that you are in a bad position yourself but you are not the only one who is hurting here. How do you think I feel knowing the man I love is being held, unlawfully in a foreign prison possibly being abused in ways that are too awful to contemplate?

I offered to come and help, consulted friends and colleagues who know the law and are in a position to help you but oh no, you told me to stop it and just send you the money as you had told me. That's not very nice is it Justin? How very ungrateful! Anyone would think you didn't want to be helped.

Something else I really must question you about is your constant refferal to yourself as my husband! Justin, as far as I am aware, we are not married unless you somehow came over to the UK, sedated me with mind altering drugs and married me without my knowledge. Why do you call yourself my husband and say that I must obey you? That's jolly old fashioned if you don't mind me saying.

Justin, here is my position. I love you dearly, more than I ever thought possible. At this precise moment it is late at night here in the UK, I am tired, upset and quite frankly, annoyed at you for being so rude. My day has been a living hell and you just don't care. You threaten to stop loving me if I don't send you the money you need. What kind of love is based on financial gain? Yes I have money, yes I am willing to share it with you but not if you are going to be demanding and grumpy with me.

I need a man who will love me for me, not for my money. Please don't let me down Justin. Prove me wrong, please.

Right now I am exhausted and off to bed. Please resend me the details of where I need to send the money to, account, name etc and the best method of transfer. I will reconsider your request tomorrow after I have slept. I hope by then you will have had a long hard think about the way you have treated me today. I am truely disappointed in you Justin. You have rocked my belief in you. You are going to have to work hard to regain my respect and trust Justin.

I await your apology Justin and please show me a bit of respect and consideration in your next email or I shall think twice about sending you the money you want.

Samantha

PS Have you been knockholed yet?

He's getting cross!! Another message from Justin

Yet another irate reply from Justin. He's getting very agitated. Not a single 'I love you.' Bastard!!

Do you really care about me if you do, help me out and send me the 1750 pounds now, so that I can be with you

He's removing his heart from me A reply from Justin

He's replied and he's not happy!!

I am aware od all you had said, and I still love you. The problem now is getting me out from here, if you don't want to help me and send me the money tell me  now so that I will remove my heart from you

A poem about the love between Samantha and Justin

My lovely friend Julie Doyle has written the following poem, dedicated to Justin and myself. She posted it as a comment on here but I think it is so wonderful that it deserves an entry all to itself!! Julie, you made me laugh so much! I am glad I managed to inspire your creative streak!!! Many, many thanks!!!

• What's in thee knickers?? (to be read in Yorkshire dialect)
  
  When I were now't but a nipper
  I'd slip on me mothers best dress
  And I'd prance all about in the front room
  And hope that no-one would guess
  
  Yer see I were born wi' a willy,
  a chopper, a dong or a knob
  I quickly took off to a surgeon
  To ask him to do me a job
  
  It's easy I sez...I'm a woman
  but the inside of me is a man
  please chop off me todge - it's offensive
  And do it as quick as yer can
  
  What I really require is VAGINA
  wi' feminine hair at the front
  Now get out yer scalpel and sutures
  And make me a beautiful cunt
  
  I want it just like this tattoo here
  All purple and orange and green
  When I open me legs to reveal it
  folk'll say its the best that they've seen
  
  Well he chopped and he made quite a cavern
  Wi' hair all about on them lips
  But I now have to install a lighthouse
  So it dunt swallow up passing ships
  
  It's bigger than planned that I'll grant thee
  and sometimes with size it's a WIN
    But dunt get too close there dear Justin
  I fear that you might just fall in.
  
  There's always the use of my knockhole
  my Rosebud is all shiny red
  Oh hurry and get here my darling
  I can't wait to get thee in bed
  
  You can whip me and tease me forever
  And smear me in Strawberry Jam.............
  .................................
  .................................
  BUT you don't really love me MY Justin!!!!
  It was all an elaborate scam.
  
  You may think you got me bowled over
  As if I would fall for such crap
  I may be a great big VAGINA
  but you are a conning young TWAT.
  

  
  

  And just in case you were wondering, this is the tattoo that is being refferred to!!

  
  

  

  
  

I'm all woman (now) - my reply to Justin

Oh Justin, you sounded so desperate in your last email. It's such a shame my travel plans have been cancelled. I wonder if he will still love me when he reads that I was born a man?

Dearest Justin

I have just read your last email which came at a very opportune moment as I was just about to contact you myself. I have hit a slight problem with my plans to fly out and rescue you. I do hope you understand and aren't too cross or upset as it looks like I may not be able to  get to Abidjan after all.

You know that I love you Justin, yes? And that fact alone is THE most important thing to us both, above anything else. Please promise that you will still love me after I tell you this. I have a slight confession to make. Can you remember that I told you that I have no siblings or children? Well those facts are all completely true, as is the fact that I am an orphan. I am all alone in this world Justin. The thing I ommitted to tell you was the reason I have no children and will never be able to have any.

As a child growing up in Cleckheaton, I always knew I was different. My grandparents always encouraged me to be myself but am not sure even they knew what I truely was inside. I always felt like an alien inside my own body. I just didn't fit. I didn't want to play with the things I was supposed to or with the children I was expected to want to be like. Oh no! I didn't want to be climbing trees or playing at cowboys and indians. I wanted to play at being mummy, dressing in gorgeous, frilly frocks, dancing and prancing, being chased by the boys, having tea parties. Oh they joys of youth eh Justin?

Anyway, when I reached my teens the issues became greater. This was when I went off the rails and became the sexual monster that I told you about previously. I tried to  find myself  by having gratuitous sexual relations with anyone who would have me, male or female. I spent a great deal of time with a lovely lady called Dawn and her two friends Elmer and Bod who counselled me and explained what it was that I was experiencing. Suddenly it all fell into place. I knew who I was!!! I was a WOMAN trapped inside the body of a MAN! Yes Justin, I was born a man! There, I have said it!!

I went to see a doctor who confirmed that I was transgendered and arranged for me to see a specialist surgeon. After many months of therapy and hormone treatment I was told I had to live as a woman for 2 years. I did this successfully and at the age of 24, I underwent gender reassignment surgery to make me into the woman you know and love. You do still love me don't you Justin?

Now this leads me to the problem with me flying out to  rescue you. I arrived at Manchester Airport this morning for my flight to Abidjan along with Mr Duckworth and Mrs Mitchell. All was going swimmingly, we'd picked up our duty free ( I hope you like Old Spice and Hai Karate!), had our double sausage, egg and chesse muffins from Burger King and we proceeded to the check in desk. The lady on the desk, (Doreen I think her name was but it didn't really suit her. She looked more like a Susan or a Kerry to me and she had THE most awful kitten pink lipstick on, really not becoming of a lady of her age) Anyway, when it came to the passport check, Doreen looked at  me, looked at  my passport and shouted over to her superior "Wendy, we've a got a live one here love, come and have a look will you."  I knew instantly what was going to happen. You see Justin, my passport says that I am a man, but obviously, I have a female name a look just like a woman (because I am one now).

I was taken off into a small side room where another official was called in. I was told that because of the discrepancy in my passport gender, I would need a full physical examination. Oh Justin, it was so humiliating (if a little erotic and horny at the same time) as I was prodded and poked in every orifice. They smashed in my back door to see if I was carrying any drugs up my knockhole. Even the orgasm I had whilst being manhandled wasn't enough to make up for the degradation I felt. After a full hour of being examined by several gentlemen (and I use the term gentlemen very loosely), bent over desks, forced to my knees and slapped about a bit (ooooh matron!) I was told that I couldn't fly!! The reason was not anything to do with my passport, but because of the examination, I had now missed my flight! The bastards!!

So Justin, I am now on my way back home again. I shall need a long sleep after my ordeal  as I am exhausted.

Justin, I need to know, do you still love me? Can you  find it in your heart to love a woman who was once a man? Can you love me and my surgically enhanced lady garden? Could you ever love a lady boy who cannot bear you children?  Oh Justin, I need to know that  you are true to me and the fact that I was born a man is irrelevant. Justin, tell me that you still love me please!!!

I hope this message reaches you safely. Please don't worry about me as I am fine. A hot bath, a sleep and some quailty time with a mars bar will soon sort me out!

Please reply soon and tell me that you still love me Justin.

Your ever loving WOMAN Samantha xxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS My lady bits are in full working order but you can always use the back door should you prefer.

He doesn't want me to fly out - a Reply from Justin.

I am saddened to say that my darling Justin doesn't want me to fly out to see him. I am distraught!!!  I am not to fly out, I am to do as I am told by him, my husband!!! he's starting to sound a bit desperate. Hope I can drag it out a bit longer.

My Love,

 

I have paid the 35 000 already, where I am I don't know the city, I was transfered so the best you can do is to sit where you are and do as I told you. Will you be happy to hear that somthing happen to me just because you refused to do what I asked you to do. The plane fee you have booked can serve well even more. Don't come here this country has just gone out from civil war, please no matter what connexion you have i want you to do and obey me as your husband and send me the money, cancel your flight and sit there till i come. Don't contact anyone again, go and send me the money if you sincerely want to help me and allow me solve this out as a man please,

 

If you have ever respect and consider me above all love me, go now and send me the money, I love you

 

Justin

I'm on the next plane out there - my reply to Justin

Having thought about Justin's situation very carefully, I decided to consult my friends Mr Duckworth and Mrs Mitchell for leagl advice. They are now packing their bags to accompany me on a trip to see Justin and make sure the people who are trying to extort money from him are brough to justice! Let's see how he reacts to this one!! I did a bit of reseach to find out who was in charge over there and Mrs Mitchell  (who works for the US Embassy) has contacted him to demand Justins release immediately!! 




My darling, sweet Justin.


I am beside myself with worry about your current situation. I cannot bear to think of you being abused by these terrible men. You say you are on your knees, whatever you do, keep your mouth shut or you don't know what they may shove in there whilst you are in that position!


As you know, I myself am a reputable business woman, having made my millions through my business Merkins and Gherkins. I have many contacts in business and such so have done a little research on your behalf. I have spoken to my business lawyer Mr Jack Duckworth, who reliably informs me that the documents that these people are asking you for are indeed not correct. I hate to be the one to tell you this  Justin but these people are trying to con you out of money. Have you already given them some of your money? I dearly hope that you have not as I fear that this money will be lost forever.


As well as speaking to my lawyer (Mr Jack Duckworth) I have spoken to a contact of mine who works at the American Embassy in London. Mrs Peggy Mitchell (YMCA) is an emminent human rights lawyer who work on behalf of American citizens who have difficulties whilst in the UK or abroad. As you are a US citizen she agreed to help.  She confirmed what Mr Duckworth had previously told me, that these people are indeed trying to extort money from you. On your behlaf, Mrs Mitchell has spoken directly to the District Governor of Abidjan,  Mr Pierre Djedji Amondji  who was outraged to hear what has happened to you. He assures Mrs Mitchell that he will demand your immediate release from captivity immedicately.


I have been so badly traumatised by what has happened to you, my one and only love, that I have decided to get the next plane over to see you. I am booked on the 8:35am flight from Manchester Airport tomorrow which is due to land at Abidjan, Felix Houphouet Boigny Airport, Cote d'Ivoire, at 2:55pm on Thursday 3rd November. I am also bringing with me Mr Duckworth and Mrs Mitchell so we can all ensure that you are safe and well and that the people responsible for this terrible crime are brought to justice. The District Governor has assured us that you will be released by then so we will be free to start our lives together Justin.

Oh Justin, you have no idea what all this has done to me. I have been a nervous wreck. I almost went out and scored some crack just to steady my nerves but I thought better of it. I feel so much better knowing that in just a matter of a couple of days we will be in each others arms, loving and caring for each other like two decent, honest people. Oh Justin, I love you so much. We will get through this together for I am yours and you are mine.

Oh, I have to say that I am a tad disappointed with  your love poems. I googled a few of the words and you have quite clearly just copied them off the interent. This actually made me feel quite cross and I went outside and slapped a passing pensioner. Here's me, sending you hand written words of love and devotion and all you do is copy yours from a website. Shame on you. I am prepared to spend vast amounts of time and money to come and rescue you and you can't even send me a genuine poem written by yourself. It's a good job I love you Justin or things could be very different.

Anyway my sweet love, my angel, my hearts desire, I must go now. But don't fear, for I shall be with you, by your side in just a couple of days. Please don't forget to let me know when Mr Pierre Djedji Amondji  has secured your release from police custody.


Waiting to hear from you soon.




All my devoted love forever


From your Samantha xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


PS, Remember, back to the wall and mouth shut at all times xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Email number 7 - he's getting desperate.

This email came this afternoon. He is being ill treated the poor thing so if I send him the money he will be ok. Yes, of course, why not? lol!!

My sweetie,

 

Please help me out, these awful men are maltreating because of the balance; please borrow it to me I will refund you back as soon as I leave here to your place, Please I am on my knees, I love you and hope you have seen all the mails I sent you yesternight,

 

Love you

 

Justin

Email number 6 from Justin

He needs my number. Does he not think his non american accent would give him away somewhat?

you haven't given me your direct phone number, i need it

Email number 5 - he forgives me?

This was the fouth email I received today from Justin. Apparrently he forgives me! How lucky am I eh? Problem is, I have no idea what for. Maybe he's got me mixed up with one of his other 'women'?

I love you and I have forgiven you even before you asked me to, so let's live our love, the past is gone the futur is ahead and it's glorious, I love you more

Email number 4 - poem number 3 from Justin

Yawn, do I sound terribly ungrateful? 

I Will Love You Forever

I love you so deeply,
I love you so much,
I love the sound of your voice
And the way that we touch.
I love your warm smile
And your kind, thoughtful way,
The joy that you bring
To my life every day.
I love you today
As I have from the start,
And I'll love you forever
With all of my heart.

 

Justin your one and only

Email number 3 - poem number 2 from Justin

Blah blah blah!!! Another poem from Justin.

Come With Me My Love,

Mystery, it clouds your form
Ecstasy, it keeps us warm
The dance has begun, with but us two
I'll take your hand, I'll walk with you
Take me to depths in the sea of love
Go with me further, never enough
I'll breathe in your perfumed scent
You intoxicate, invade my head

Give in to your senses, here we go
Follow me now, let your heart take control
Our time is short, and death is nigh
To mountains and peaks, we must fly
Leave life behind in our own world
Get away from it all, run with me, my pearl
Forget all your troubles, walk in the moonlight
Gaze into my eyes, stay with me tonight

We need not fear, we must venture on
Forsake loneliness, drink in our love's song
Pure angel of dawn, you've stolen my heart
You illuminate me, pierce the dark
Your purity, it leaves me numb
Your beauty, where does it come from?
I long to touch your smooth, soft skin
To stroke your hair, give you everything

To pull you into my embrace
To hear you breathe, to see your face
To feel your heart beat softly with mine
To hold you tightly, leave reason behind
To draw you in, to taste your kiss
All heartbreak gone, nothing amiss
I'd lose myself inside your eyes
Stay in love forever, mesmerized

Run away with me, barefoot in the sand
Walk by my side, rule all the lands
Hear our hearts beating with love so wild
Our heads spinning with passion, my child
There's untamed joy we can't contain
Hypnotizing ardor we can't explain
I'm Romeo, will you be Juliet?
We can share a bond we'll never forget

We can clasp hands in the twilight
Hold each other, day and night
We can be alone, just me and you
Our souls entwined, you know it's true
We can do anything, if you'll take faith
I'll protect you, I'll keep you safe
We can be together eternally
We can live forever – so come with me

 

Your sweetie Justin

Email number 2 - love poem number 1 from Justin

This is the first love poem that Justin wrote for me, except he didn't! He pinched it off the internet! This made me cross!!

Come With Me My Love,

Mystery, it clouds your form
Ecstasy, it keeps us warm
The dance has begun, with but us two
I'll take your hand, I'll walk with you
Take me to depths in the sea of love
Go with me further, never enough
I'll breathe in your perfumed scent
You intoxicate, invade my head

Give in to your senses, here we go
Follow me now, let your heart take control
Our time is short, and death is nigh
To mountains and peaks, we must fly
Leave life behind in our own world
Get away from it all, run with me, my pearl
Forget all your troubles, walk in the moonlight
Gaze into my eyes, stay with me tonight

We need not fear, we must venture on
Forsake loneliness, drink in our love's song
Pure angel of dawn, you've stolen my heart
You illuminate me, pierce the dark
Your purity, it leaves me numb
Your beauty, where does it come from?
I long to touch your smooth, soft skin
To stroke your hair, give you everything

To pull you into my embrace
To hear you breathe, to see your face
To feel your heart beat softly with mine
To hold you tightly, leave reason behind
To draw you in, to taste your kiss
All heartbreak gone, nothing amiss
I'd lose myself inside your eyes
Stay in love forever, mesmerized

Run away with me, barefoot in the sand
Walk by my side, rule all the lands
Hear our hearts beating with love so wild
Our heads spinning with passion, my child
There's untamed joy we can't contain
Hypnotizing ardor we can't explain
I'm Romeo, will you be Juliet?
We can share a bond we'll never forget

We can clasp hands in the twilight
Hold each other, day and night
We can be alone, just me and you
Our souls entwined, you know it's true
We can do anything, if you'll take faith
I'll protect you, I'll keep you safe
We can be together eternally
We can live forever – so come with me

 

Your sweetie Justin

A flurry of emails from Justin including 3 love poems!!!

I woke this morning to an amazing six emails from Justin, three of which were love poems!! Yay he finally took the hint! What a shame that the poems were pinched off the internet. I shall make sure he knows how displeased I am with that little scam! He sounds pretty desperate and sent me yet another email this afternoon. The poor boy needs my help so much. And for some reason, he seem to think that he is my husband. He must have used rohypnol as I have no recollection of our nuptuals!! The English is particularily bad in this one. Maybe the light is bad in his police cell?

My sweetheart,

 

I am so glad that you took your time to reply me quickly I am very much grateful to you my love. I had been into this trade for 7 years now and had never faced any inconveniences like this particular one. I had never been to Africa and this is my first time of coming down here. I have been dealing on gold and diamond since my death of my foster parents and at this moment I have no one else except you alone.

 

I hate fabricating things or lying, I am a man of integrity and that is what I had and will forever be with you. I vowed to you through my mails that I will ever to loyal and truthful to you that playing around, you are to precious for me to be tempered with anyhow.

 

The documents the Customs are requesting are:

1- International Trade Certificat

2- Authorization Letter from Ministry of Inter-Exter Affaires

3- Trade Tax

4- Code Fiscal Registration

 

These are the documents I need now and I had remitted the sum of 35,000 and it's remainning the 1,750. Yes It's expensive for I got merchandises that worth 3 millions plus with me and losing them will jeoperdise all my efforts of years. I am sure the customs officers are not lying they are simply doing their job and I had asked more 5 people here and each one confirm and affirm the required documents.

 

About my love for you, I love you so so so so much and will ever love you till my dying day. All I need now is for you to help me get out from here so that I will prove my loyality and total lve to you as I promised, I love you millio time and you are one and the best in the million out there, You are my wife and I am your husband indeed,

 

I love you and will be waiting to hear from you quickly for there is no more time left,

 

I love you,

 

Your husband Justin McBride

You make me want to handglide - my reply To Justin

Oh Justin, do you really think I am that silly that I would send vast amounts of money to someone I have never met? Someone who can't even be arsed to send me a love poem? Well you're not getting a sniff of my money until you do!!!

Oh my darling Justin.

I am so terribly sorry to hear about your misfortune but I am a little confused. I was under the impression that you had travelled to the Ivory Coast to sell some gold and diamonds that you had purchased from the Japanese to some Arabians. I checked back at your previous emails and that is definately what you said.

What are the documents that you have to purchase and why are they so blooming expensive? £36, 750 seems an awful lot of money for a few bits of paper. Are you sure these people aren't in fact just trying to trick you out of money? Some people, even in a position of authority aren't always as honest and trustworth as you and I. You really ought to check what they are saying is true before you hand over any of your money.

When you email me back with a few more details I will see what I can do about sending you the money you need. After all, what is money without love?

Anyway Justin, not that I want to make light of your situation, but whilst you are in police custody you will have quite a lot of time on your hands. It's great they allow you access to a computer so we can keep in touch. I don't mean to be miserable or anything but have you written me my love poem yet?  I did send you one and have asked several times for one in return but you haven't complied. This makes me feel very very sad Justin. I am sure that whilst you are wallowing in the Abidjan Police cells you can take just a bit of time to write me one. PLEASE WRITE ME A LOVE POEM JUSTIN!!! Prove to me that you love me and that I am important in your life. I want to believe you but unless you send me a love poem, I may well start to doubt you. Doubt is a bad emotion. Where there is doubt, other insecurities creep in and before you know it, we have fallen out of love. I DO love you Justin, I really do. I just need you to prove it to me.

Justin my sweetheart, please send me more in depth details about the documentation you are required to purchase, what it is, why you need it and why it is so expensive as well as my lovely heartfelt love poem and I shall look into transferring the  £1750 over to you as soon as possible.

Here is a quick poem I have written for you. I hope  it cheers you up.

Justin's in jail
I weep and I wail
But the Lord has arisen
To save him from prison.

Justin McBride
My feelings inside
Make me want to hand glide
Into the sea, at low tide

As quick as a flash
I'll send you the cash
But to bed I must crash
And give my bean a bash

I hope you like it Justin. Please don't forget to send me my poem and make me happy.

Be safe my dear, sleep well and remember to keep your back to the wall at all times.

My love always and forever

Samantha xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS DO NOT FORGET MY POEM OR I  WILL BE VERY VERY UNHAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!